Why I write...

Several people have asked me why I am writing this blog.

As a writer, I often write to try to figure things out for myself: Why do I do this? Can I stop doing it? Can I learn new habits? Writing forces one to reflect on one's thoughts and actions.

I also hope to explain to others, including my beloved daughter, professional organizers and mental health professionals, why there isn't a simple cure to this problem, solved by medications, lectures, threats, blackmail or, as in the television show Hoarding, massive clean outs and culls.

The problem is rooted in anxiety, depression, loss, learned behaviour, personality, genetics, compulsions and habit. The solution, like the problem, must be multi-faceted and long-term, and even then, may fail to achieve a cure. I would be happy with harm reduction -- controlling the problem to the point that I can live safely. It would be a super bonus if I could control the problem to the point of again sharing my space with others.

Stasis...

Stasis is a state of equilibrium or inactivity, created by opposing, equal forces -- or,  in pathology, a stagnation of fluids due to an obstruction.

Yesterday was difficult for me. I stayed up very late Monday night, playing Solitaire on my computer. This is a response to anxiety. I am not sure why I was so anxious, but I was supposed to be collecting my financial documents for the accountant -- a task I find stressful. However, I had just had a joyful evening with friends.

After the lack of sleep, I found myself restless and unable to concentrate yesterday. My stomach was upset, my head was hurting, etc. (I have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a problem caused by stress. IBS results in diarrhea or constipation. In me, it is always the former. I will never die from IBS, but it will periodically rob me of productive time and complicate my life.)

However, that was yesterday. Today is a new day. My stomach is still upset, but I have taken medication and will soldier on. I look forward to two meetings with others today -- two chances to share my humanity with friends. Most of my stress comes from isolation. I am an extrovert.

This is a starting point

A starting point is a place from which explorations and forays into the unknown are attempted, documented and mapped.